Resting

I’ve had a bit of a break from all social media for a week. Sometimes when my depression and anxiety get really bad, I find that social media exacerbates both conditions. 

I think it’s something to do with seeing everyone else’s lives continuing while mine is frozen, or sometimes their (and I’m not proud of this), seemingly petty or small problems they complain about. 

All the negativity, it just gets overwhelming and I can’t bear to look at it anymore

Last week was one of those occasions. I have been under a lot of financial stress with being on long term sick. It felt like my life was falling apart and I was like a robot that short-circuited and came to a standstill; my brain still ticking over, but unable to think clearly or solve any of my problems,and not in the least bit able to reach out and ask anyone for help. 

I think I have managed to solve things and it has meant making an enormous decision. I will need to be stronger than ever and push myself harder than ever. 

I have been reminded, however of something that, maybe I need to keep in mind at all times; I am not alone. 

I was never alone. I don’t have to face everything and cope with everything on my own. 

I have friends, I have family, I have friends who I consider family, and they are rooting for me and supporting me all the time. 

Even when my ill mind tells me they don’t care. Even when I don’t hear from them and my ill mind tells me no one is thinking about me. They are. 

Anxiety and depression both distort the way you view what people say, people’s actions, what people don’t say or do. They twist everything into a negative, self-bullying mess. 

I need to remember that it is not real. The negative distortion is not how people genuinely percieve me or interact with me. The thoughts that anxiety and depression put in my head are not people’s genuine opinions of me and are not what people are thinking. 

Living alone with depression and anxiety is hard. It’s all too easy to become isolated and to become consumed with the negativity in your head. 

Reaching out to people and asking for help is hard for anyone. Reaching out and asking for help as a person who has anxiety and depression is nigh on impossible. 

I would like to thank all of my supporters. My friends, family, followers on various forms of social media. Thank you for sticking with me, encouraging me, thinking of me and most importantly just for checking in with me and asking how I am doing. 

Recovery is a long process and I have a huge step to take, in front of me (I’ll tell you about that later), but I am sure I can get through this with your support. 

Thank you for reading

Love love love

The Faraway Girl 💜

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